Road to Nowhere

Q and A with blogger, and now jogger, TracyL.

It is estimated that there are 120 million blogs on the internet today and that number keeps rising. With that many blogs and bloggers in the world it’s no surprise that most bloggers remain anonymous, unfamous and read by no one but their significant others. Meet TracyL who, although her real name is Tracy, is still pretty anonymous, still unfamous and can barely get her boyfriend (who goes by the blog name of He Man) to read her blog.

Today she’s agreed to answer our questions about her new possession and obsession, her treadmill. We join TracyL in her study, a somewhat stuffy and cluttered room in her house where she and He Man spend most of their free time. (He Man is in the dining room, enjoying an impromptu LAN party with his friends.)

Andrea (the imaginary reporter): Thank you TracyL for taking this time to talk with us. I understand that the treadmill was meant to be a secret, why do you wish to talk about it now?

TracyL: Not really a secret Anthea but it was meant to be nobody’s business but mine. A certain blabber mouth went and spilled his guts to his mom and now the whole of Krugersdorp and large parts of Pretoria know about it. But of course they only know half the story and I wanted to set the record straight.

Andrea: Um, it’s Andrea.

TracyL: Sorry?

Andrea: My name, it’s Andrea.

TracyL: Andrea, okay.

Andrea: Okay great. So tell us about the treadmill, when and where you got it.

TracyL: We went shopping for it last Sunday and got it delivered the same day. We got what we thought was a really nice deal at the Pink Place.

Anthea: The Pink Place?

TracyL: Well they’re actually called something else Althea and if they hadn’t gone and bettered the deal four days later by offering something bigger for the same price I might have mentioned them by name.

Andrea: Andrea

TracyL: Right.

A: Why a treadmill though? They’re a bit on the expensive side, take up more space. Why not an elliptical trainer or join a gym and get to use all sorts of equipment?

T: One of my goals for this year is to exercise. Gym is expensive and impractical for me and I’ve yet to encounter a sports bra that can cope with the bopping up and down on an elliptical when I’m at full tilt. I like walking, I walk pretty fast actually. My neighbourhood isn’t always so safe and the weather can be a factor so with a treadmill I can walk as much as I like anytime I like.

A: Still, a treadmill, not a pretty addition to your lounge décor. What happened to playing table tennis on the Move?

T: That is still part of the plan but its’ not quite the workout that I was hoping it would be.

A: And you want to work out because?

T: Mostly I just want to get fit and have more energy. Believe it or not in my twenties I was quite the gym bunny, working out nearly six times a week and it felt great. I want that feeling back.

A: So you’re not exercising to lose weight?

T: I anticipate some weight loss hopefully but it isn’t my primary motivation.

A: So what is motivating you?

T: Short answer. Simon Baker.

A: And the long answer?

T: The JP Morgan Corporate Challenge. I actually signed up for it after the treadmill arrived but the timing was so great and it gives me something work towards. I’ve put myself down for finishing 5.6 km in 60 minutes. The event takes place at the beginning of March so I’ve got a good few weeks to train.

T: Also, skinny vegetarians.

A: Skinny vegetarians?

T: Ja, the kind that thinks they know everything about nutrition, fitness and health because they are skinny. And vegetarian.

A: Tell me more about this skinny vegetarian.

T: Um, is this going to be published on the internet?

A: Yes.

T: Then I don’t personally know any skinny vegetarians.

T: I don’t work with any either.

T: Next question Athena.

A: Andrea, remember? Anyway, do you want to be a skinny vegetarian?

T: No. Because first of all I am never giving up bacon, even if the bacon on my lunchtime pizza did taste a bit funny. And I’ve actually been skinny once and it was not a good look for me, made me look ten years older than I am.

A: Okay. So what comes after the JP Morgan, the Comrades?

T: No. Possibly I’ll look around for another 5 km race or maybe even a 10 km if I’m feeling really fit by then but that is as far as my running ambitions go. The closest I’m going to get to participating in the comrades is watching the race from start to finish from the comfort of my couch.

A: Well TracyL we wish you all the best. Thank you for taking the time to talk with us.

T: You are welcome Shelly, it was great talking with you.

A: MY NAME IS ANTHEA!!!!!

T: You sure? Because you look like a Shelly.

A: Dammit! It’s Anthea, A N T H E A, Anthea.

T: I thought you said it was Andrea. You should call your mom and check with her, I’m sure she’ll know.

Shelly Andrea is an imaginary person who is happy to ask the questions you think you have the clever answers to. She lives inside TracyL’s head.

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One thought on “Road to Nowhere

  1. Treadmills are ok, but a giant hamster wheel is way more fun. By the way, the voices in my head send their regards to Andrea.

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