About These Things

About getting older:

  • I finally understand the need for Sunday afternoon naps.
  • I finally take Sunday afternoon naps.
  • There was this other thing that I thought of in the car on my drive to work but I can’t remember what it is now.
  • But it was awesome and eloquent, I remember that.
  • My friend, who is 10 years older than me, has given me a birthday present.
  • My birthday is in June.
  • Maybe I should open my present now in case I don’t make it to June.

About spiders:

  • My home is spider mecca.
  • I am a spider magnet.
  • I am thinking of changing my name to Miss Muffet.
  • He Man never spots the spiders.
  • Meanwhile a dream catcher scared the crap out of me on the weekend on account of it being spider coloured.
  • He Man insists on capturing the spiders and setting them free outside.
  • If it were up to me they would die but as I am too scared to get close enough to give them a good whack with a shoe they get to live.

About World of Warcraft:

  • My addiction is back in full swing.
  • Heck I am even reading the Warcraft Archive.
  • I kill A LOT of spiders in WoW.
  • Even when I don’t have a quest to do so.
  • Having a place to go where death is not permanent, where I am a healer, where I am strong and powerful, where I make a difference – this place makes everything else bearable.

Currently

Currently pretending it’s still Wednesday because that is when I wrote this and it was relevant then.

Currently googling how to kill my internet connection because it’s clearly trying to kill me with frustration but constantly dying on me. Uh, never mind Google.

Currently hoping that the Trojan people who make the condoms are not the same Trojan people who made my treadmill because a malfunctioning treadmill equals minor inconvenience but malfunctioning condom…

Currently contemplating sharing a little work related anecdote that probably won’t get me into trouble at work but my mom might be a little shocked.

Currently remembering that my mom doesn’t even know I have a blog. So, today I had to type the phrase “pull wire switch” and my first through was “guys have a switch for that?”

Currently grateful that the awesome pasta dish I made for dinner on Monday finally finished it’s run this evening. Day three spinach still tasty, day four spinach not.

Currently wondering how it is that I have typed the word ‘currently’ eight times in this post yet every single time I typed it, it came out as ‘currenlty’.

Speaker for the Week*

Angel Ornament
And this was just part of the wrapping

(* My apologies to Orson Scott Card – I just got through reading “Speaker for the Dead” and I was stumped for a title)

First week back at work and this is how it went –

The yays

  • Got to work on time every day.
  • Managed to leave work on time too so no overtime (so far).
  • Found an xmas pressie lurking in my desk drawer – I am so spoiled and what a beautiful gift it is.
  • Resolved a simmering conflict with a co-worker. Had a nice chat and a hot chocolate and now it’s all sorted and I feel so much better. I think she does too.
  • Encouraged someone I like and admire to be more ambitions, to apply for a serious promotion. In truth she had been thinking of applying but my little talk convinced her to go for it. I will be holding thumbs for her.
  • Took along yoghurt and muesli to work every day for breakfast. I am pleasantly surprised by the fact that eating breakfast is making a positive difference to work my day.
  • And on the subject of food – when I said that for dinner I was going to the kitchen to make magic happen, I totally did just that. He Man** and the lack of leftovers*** will confirm that.
  • Nobody missed me, they managed along just fine without me.

The nays

  • That xmas pressie – well I got it on Monday, opened it on Tuesday and only thanked the giver on Wednesday.
  • Five is way to early in the morning to get out of bed.
  • While I was away no one updated the dress code to allow for slippers in the workplace. Or pajamas.
  • Had my first little road rage outburst for the year. The holiday is over folks and traffic is back to normal.
  • Nobody missed me, they managed along just fine without me.

You know, I wasn’t expecting the yays to carry it, but there it is. Yay?

** He Man – it’s what we’re calling him now apparently (thanks Kyknoord)

*** He Man and the Lack of Leftovers – awesome band name or way past my bedtime?

Good Friday

Because I am a heathen and a philistine (apparently) all I really care about on this four day weekend is the consumption of copious quantities of Easter eggs. I would be eating one right now* were it not for the headache I am currently dealing with (there is a down side to going to bed at 2 in the morning even though I slept in till 11). The upside to the headache is that I am still in my pajamas, even though it’s already afternoon.

Anyway, in exactly seventeen days time we will be moving into our very own house. Our house, as in we have a bond and in twenty short years we will own it in its entirety House. And I have still not started packing. Hell I haven’t even gotten a quote from a moving company or even checked whether one of them can move our meager possessions three kilometres down the road on the 19th but I am telling everyone that, that is when I am moving. I have, however, managed to collect some cardboard boxes (11 to be exact) and I have packing tape and a marking pen. Now if only the boxes would figure out how to pack themselves.

Instead I am procrastinating because I have seventeen days to pack and really, I only need two. I work best when I have a deadline and a last minute. So packing is not happening, because I am still in my pajamas.

And it’s raining today, my favourite kind of weather; good Friday indeed.

* actually I am eating a hot cross bun right now, even better

Words

Some words I have had to look up the meanings of to see how they apply to me and my life.

Facetious – as in someone said I was being facetious.

1. not meant to be taken seriously or literally: a facetious remark.
2. amusing; humorous.
3. lacking serious intent; concerned with something nonessential, amusing, or frivolous: a facetious person.

Um no, I was actually aiming for sarcasm and was being quite serious. Even if we were both laughing.

Impasse – as in where I think I am at with the whole mother e-mail debacle.

1. a position or situation from which there is no escape; deadlock.
2. a road or way that has no outlet; cul-de-sac.

Possibly things aren’t quite so bad. It would take one of us to make a move, say something, do something to get us heading back in the right direction. Question is, who’s gonna make the first move.

Debacle – as in I used it in a sentence and then wondered if it is indeed the right word to use.

1. a general breakup or dispersion; sudden downfall or rout: The revolution ended in a debacle.
2. a complete collapse or failure.
3. a breaking up of ice in a river.
4. a violent rush of waters or ice.

While things are indeed a bit icy, I don’t think it’s a complete failure. One of us just needs to stop being so stubborn.

Stubborn – as in which one of us is really the stubborn one.

1. unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving: a stubborn child.
2. fixed or set in purpose or opinion; resolute: a stubborn opponent of foreign aid.
3. obstinately maintained, as a course of action: a stubborn resistance.
4. difficult to manage or suppress: a stubborn horse; a stubborn pain.
5. hard, tough, or stiff, as stone or wood; difficult to shape or work.

Obstinate – because it relates to stubborn so I am still not sure who the stubborn one is.

1. firmly or stubbornly adhering to one’s purpose, opinion, etc.; not yielding to argument, persuasion, or entreaty.
2. characterized by inflexible persistence or an unyielding attitude; inflexibly persisted in or carried out: obstinate advocacy of high tariffs.
3. not easily controlled or overcome: the obstinate growth of weeds.
4. not yielding readily to treatment, as a disease.

Okay, so I am the stubborn one, the unreasonably obstinate one. Guess then, the move is mine.

Just don’t know what that move’s going to be yet.

For the record – all definitions come straight from dictionary.com

BFF – A Three Parter

Part 1 – Tempted to look her up on Facebook

I’ll call her J. And up until a few months ago we worked together.

I was (and still am) in a relationship and J had a huge, HUGE crush on one of the guys from upstairs. Our conversations were often about men and relationships. I had ended up back in a relationship rather soon after the one before it had ended and maybe I’d missed out on some much needed me time so I was struggling to adapt. J was a great sounding board for me. She has a wonderful gift for listening, really listening, to what I had to say and also what I didn’t say. She herself wouldn’t say very much, ask the odd little question maybe, but mostly she would listen.

Then on my drive home I would think back on our conversation and her questions, the ones I could not answer at the time. And in that hour long drive it would all come together for me, all the hours of agonising would come together into one succinct message that was clear and understandable. And finally I would have it really figured out and could then start on the way forward.

This all thanks to my conversations with J; she’d make an awesome therapist but she has chosen to be a tour guide instead. I miss her.

Part 2 – Being my own

So, in conclusion, the only way I can successfully loose weight is if I have some fatty failing miserably along side me.

It sounds just awful, doesn’t it, but let me explain.

For more than half my life I have had a weight problem. I’ve tried many a diet and only succeeded in slowly getting fatter. Then about three years ago I caught sight of my naked self in a full length mirror (something I had managed to avoid) and I was revolted by the sight.

It was a turning point; I simply could not go on that way any more.

It was a painful eighteen months but I managed to shed a third of me along the way.

I didn’t do this diet thing on my own though, I had help. I worked with a lady, call her K, that was also keen to loose weight. Her and I both had spouses that seemed hell bent on sabotaging our efforts. Hers would often stop by work to deliver her some KFC for lunch; mine would come home on  Fridays laden with weekend goodies.

It’s not easy when you don’t get any support at home, it’s hard to say no to cupcakes and KFC when it’s being offered by someone who supposedly loves you more than anything.

One day K actually divided her KFC between two plates and placed one in front of me. I said “thank you but no thank you”.

It drove her dilly that I could say no. And in that moment I discovered that it made me feel all smug and superior because I had. So from then on that is pretty much how it went. For every time that K would cave, I’d stick to my plan; at the end of it I was several sizes smaller and she wasn’t.

It wasn’t very nice or very fair to K that I used her so, even though she didn’t know anything at all about it. At the time I was so filled with self loathing that I could only go one of two ways – finally loose the weight or literally eat myself to death. And I was leaning closer to the latter. I used whatever means necessary to keep going.

Over the last year though I’ve noticed the weight creeping back on. Oh sure, we’re only talking about a few kilos but it’s a few kilos too many. This is how it starts, trust me.

I know how to get rid of it and keep it off but the willpower is not as powerful as it once was so I’ve been thinking about why that is. The really bitchy conclusion I came to was my opening line above.

There is no more K and actually it’s better that way. I have someone better in mind. You see, no matter what size I am there is a fat girl that resides in my head and I’ve realised that she is probably going to be there for good so she might as well make herself useful.

So my inner fat girl will become my replacement K and whenever I am tempted I will just imagine my inner fat girl giving in to the temptation and then I get to be all smug when I don’t.

She will be my new BFF, my Big Fat Friend. I will loose the weight and BFF will finally have some purpose in life. We both win.

Part 3 – About a house

More than anything I want a home of my own. But I can’t afford it. I earn a good salary and I am debt free yet no bank will lend me enough money to buy a modest home for myself. I had become convinced that either I was aiming to high in the home stakes or I was doing something desperately wrong.

Then at work yesterday I had a conversation with a colleague. She said something along the lines of  “everybody always says why you renting, you could be paying your own place off but hello, who can afford a bond repayment when rent is actually so much cheaper. The only way we’re going to to be able to afford to buy a place is if we do it with somebody”.

For so long now I’ve been convinced that I am the problem, that I’m missing some thing that everyone else has which is why I am the only one dealing with this. It was a relief to hear her say that, to know that I am not alone.

I originally wrote this as part rant, part whine, part woe-is-me, part bitch session, part I-don’t-give-a-damn-anymore, part screw-this, part maybe I am the problem, part I just want to console myself with cupcakes.

It was long and complicated and it was really all my thoughts on an issue he and I are facing right now. But instead of hitting publish last night, I slept on it and this morning I spoke to him instead. It was a long conversation and at the end of it we had still not found a resolution to the issue.

Part 3 doesn’t have a conclusion, bitchy or otherwise. It’s still a work in progress.

Home vs Lesotho – A Completely Unbiased Comparison

I’ve been away from the blog and indeed the entire Internet for a bit. We went camping in the mountains.

Thanks be to the lovely folk who stopped by and commented on my last post. Apologies for it taking so long for your comments to be approved. We arrived back on Monday tired but relaxed. Then I headed back in to the office on Tuesday for my stress levels to be adjusted to what passes for normal in my working life, sadly. Then I woke up and it was Saturday.

Now, on to today’s post.

Home vs Lesotho – A Completely Unbiased Comparison

Food

I normally don’t have breakfast at home. Five in the morning is way to early for me to eat and I manage a cup of coffee purely for the caffeine kick. In Lesotho it’s different. For one, he actually develops an appetite when we’re camping so we do tend to have our three square meals a day and snacks.

Which explains, in part, my three kilo weight gain over a four day period. The bigger part of that weight gain has to do with (warning! possibly TMI coming up) my reluctant bowels becoming badly backed up.

But the magnificent mountain view while we enjoy our hot chocolate beats even the best gourmet meal I could cook up at home. And my bowels will get over it eventually.

So, score 1 to Lesotho.

Fashion

Although it’s not strictly in the dress code I wear make-up every day and heels to work most days; I’m meant to look professional. But it’s not always comfortable and if I didn’t have the hair and make-up routine every morning I’d probably get an extra half hour of sleep (which I need).

On our way back we stopped off for lunch in some place I have forgotten the name of. I was still sporting my camping look which is sunblock,  a t-shirt, jeans tucked into my gumboots and my moahale hat. It’s comfortable and the gumboots are a god send in a wet and muddy camp site. I didn’t think much of it until I noticed two women giving me the once over, the look on their faces clearly saying ‘WTF Woman, you’re out in public for Pete’s sake’.

I saw their looks and really, I did not care. I was comfortable (despite the blood blister on my foot – story for another time maybe) and relaxed and the gumboots were a huge part of that.

1 to Lesotho again.

Fun

On our short trip we hiked, we went horse riding, we saw with our own eyes a bushman rock painting, we took photos of everything that looked pretty or interesting or just because. There was no plan for our days, no rushing to make appointments, we went when and where we felt like going.

There is plenty of fun to be had at home too. Friends, family and Jeep club are all here. But there is also always a schedule attached, a date and time and place to be.

Lesotho gets 1 point, but only because there is no timetable attached.

Facilities

Years ago I went hiking in St Lucia with friends. We stayed in this hut that had no electricity or running water. The loo was a long walk away from the hut but with the most spectacular view ever viewed from a toilet seat. It was also a long drop.

A toilet that don’t flush is just not right in my book. There are many things I could live or do without but a flushing toilet isn’t one of them.

Fortunately, both places we stayed at in Lesotho had flushing toilets.

However, there is a lot to be said for just hopping out of bed and waddling the few necessary steps to the bathroom when it’s three in the morning and you really gotta go. As opposed to donning your jacket and your gumboots, crawling out of the tent on your hands and knees because it’s the little tent (that you can’t stand up straight in) and then trekking across the however many metres, possibly even kilometres, whilst it is below freezing out there just to take a pee.

I also miss not having a fridge or freezer. It would be really nice to be able to have steak on the braai and salad every night and having somewhere to put the left-overs would mean we don’t have to eat everything we prepared in one sitting which would mean less back-up and weight gain.

Finally, home has 1 point.

“Romance”

What happens in the tent, stays in the tent.

But it also scores Lesotho 1 more point. (Unless we put the tent up in the lounge – hmm, now there’s a thought 😉

While I spent my Tuesday back at work frantically catching up and even working late to get everything done before the deadline, he had plenty of time to indulge in a little fantasy he would like to call “Let’s chuck it all up and move to Lesotho for ever”. He says he spent most of Tuesday trying to find the right argument to convince me to go along.

If you’ve tallied up the score then you will know Lesotho wins hands down. But live there for ever, I don’t know that I could.

I know myself well enough to know that sooner or later the novelty would wear off. Those magnificent mountains would become the big, giant rocks that stand in my way to civilization. I would miss the Pick ‘n Pay up the road that stocks everything I require. I would miss the internet and blogging. I would miss the daily stresses that make going into the country side such a treat.

I would miss Lesotho, the little country I have come to love.

Little country, big space
Little country, big space