Lucky Catch

I took my backpack out the boot and slung it over my shoulder. In doing so the strap hooked on my earring and the stud and butterfly came undone. I thought I felt something fall down my cleavage but could not find anything. Eventually I gave up looking and made peace with the fact that it was gone and instead I embraced the idea of single-handedly bringing back the lone earring trend which was popular back when I was in high school, a very long time ago.

Once inside the house I removed my bra, as I think all women do at the end of a long day. There nested in the cups were the butterfly and stud respectively.

Disaster averted thankfully as the only successful way to wear the lone earring is to pair it with a mullet. And nobody wants that trend back again.


Fourth of July

Monday, Tuesday and even Wednesday are a blur but only because Thursday nearly ended me.

Thursday started out well enough. At least I think it did, I don’t really remember. I remember though that it got shittier as the day went by. I didn’t realise how shitty till I was driving home when it was late and dark and I started crying. Not a good thing to do in traffic when you need to keep your wits about you to make it home alive.

But I made it home in one piece and then promptly fell to pieces in He Man’s arms.

I think I last cried so much when my dad died. (And now I will have to take a moment to cry some more because my dad is still dead and I miss him.)

Yet no one died. It was just my job, the one I love, the one that I am good at, the one that I have that was making me cry.

Let’s not blame the job though. The job is challenging, just the way I like it. The people that come with the job, ah well, isn’t that always where the problem lies.

And so I cried and cried because I just could not imagine how I would go back, the next day, today, and deal with the people.

I did it though, with He Man’s help and hugs and He Man’s advice.

And I was reminded that my job comes with other people too. People who care, who listen, who give good advice (and even a hug) too. And so now I can go back on Monday and carry on and do my job.

Someone I once knew was fond of saying that sooner or later everybody got promoted to their level of incompetence. I’m not there yet, I’m not even close. And so those people can just go suck it, because I don’t see The Boss taking them out for a slice of chocolate tart anytime soon.

About These Things

About getting older:

  • I finally understand the need for Sunday afternoon naps.
  • I finally take Sunday afternoon naps.
  • There was this other thing that I thought of in the car on my drive to work but I can’t remember what it is now.
  • But it was awesome and eloquent, I remember that.
  • My friend, who is 10 years older than me, has given me a birthday present.
  • My birthday is in June.
  • Maybe I should open my present now in case I don’t make it to June.

About spiders:

  • My home is spider mecca.
  • I am a spider magnet.
  • I am thinking of changing my name to Miss Muffet.
  • He Man never spots the spiders.
  • Meanwhile a dream catcher scared the crap out of me on the weekend on account of it being spider coloured.
  • He Man insists on capturing the spiders and setting them free outside.
  • If it were up to me they would die but as I am too scared to get close enough to give them a good whack with a shoe they get to live.

About World of Warcraft:

  • My addiction is back in full swing.
  • Heck I am even reading the Warcraft Archive.
  • I kill A LOT of spiders in WoW.
  • Even when I don’t have a quest to do so.
  • Having a place to go where death is not permanent, where I am a healer, where I am strong and powerful, where I make a difference – this place makes everything else bearable.

Spa Good For Me

What a difference a day makes. Was it only yesterday when I could scoff at the notion of spending an entire day at the spa getting a facial, a massage, a manicure and a pedicure. And now, after a day spent doing just that, well, I get it.

This unexpected treat came along in the form of an invitation from a good friend to join her for a day at the spa. I was thrilled that she’d asked me to come along and really excited about spending my Saturday getting pampered.

But I was also nervous, having never had a spa day in my life before.

Like, for a start, what do you wear to the spa? Well, according to my friend, a tracksuit would do and if you’re getting a pedi, be sure to don a pair of slip slops so as not to ruin the paint job on the way out. Of course I don’t own a tracksuit so clearly I’m not cut out for this. No wait, I’ve got the slip slops, I’m good to go.

Of course what you wear is totally irrelevant because when you get there they give you other stuff to wear.

First there was the paper panty. I have a sneaky suspicion that I had it on back to front. But it was not uncomfortable and I think it protected my modesty during my pedicure so purpose served.

Next was the boob tube. Which I donned as a skirt because apparently I don’t know what the words ‘boob tube’ mean. The nice lady who squeezed god knows what out my face, yes the one who gave me the facial, set me straight. The gown was the only thing I got right in the dress up part of the programme.

The facial was steamy and quite relaxing, apart from the afore-mentioned squeezing part and I came out shiny like the sun. Tomorrow I shall be radiant.

My only complaint, wait, let’s not call it a complaint, it makes me sound petty and entitled. Let me start again. If I were asked how they could possibly improve the massage experience (not that they need to but you know, if they felt like it) then I would suggest that letting me nap for twenty minutes afterward would be nice. Really nice.

I have only myself and my clumsiness to blame for getting my manicure messed up before I’d even left the spa. Luckily some clear nail varnish has diminished the damage and if I can avoid dishes and housework for a week or two my manicure should last a week or two.

And about my pedicure I can say this, I am cuckoo about the colour.

Would that I could schedule a regular spa day but there are those pesky ‘working for a living’ and ‘paying off a bond’ details getting in the way. However, it is nice to know what being a lady of leisure would entail should I ever get the opportunity to be one.

In the meantime I’m going to invest in a tracksuit, you know, because I want to be prepared.

Run Tracy Run

And just when I thought that I’d have nothing to blog about this week, I drove past the local primary school and was reminded that South Africans are meant to register for the upcoming local elections. Now I’m not going to use this space to tell you who to put in charge or the nation but I am a strong believer in at least registering so that when elections do come around, I have the option of participating.

I can, however, use this space to indulge myself in imagining life in South Africa if I were left in charge for a while.

For starters I’d declare weekends to be a three day affair so that we can all stop dreading Mondays. Yip, that alone would probably get me elected.

Next up on my agenda would be the world of … Book Selling. I know, I know, I’m probably the only person who has this issue but dammit, if I’m going to be in charge then I might as well use my opportunity to fix the things that really, REALLY bother me.

Allow me to explain.

I’m an avid reader for science fiction and fantasy and and the most common feature of these genres are trilogies. My issue is not with trilogies, per se, but with the way they are sold. Just last week Exclusive Books were having a sale in the open area of the mall close to where I work. Great for Exclusive Books and great for me. While I was browsing, I came across a book by David and Leigh Eddings. I’ve read Eddings before and I’ve really enjoyed the books so I’m keen and happy to add some of them to my own collections. But of course the only books on sale were books three and four of the series.

So I bought a book on Black Adder instead.

I realise that it would be impractical to force publishers to publish trilogies all at once; that sometimes a first book is written as an only book and then when it’s successful or when the author realises that the story can be expanded and continued, that a second and third (and in Eddings’ case a fourth and fifth and sixth and  seventh and eighth and ninth and tenth) book follows.

But what I am proposing, and would put into legislation, is that when that second book comes out it has to be sold along with the first. And when the third book came along, it would have to be sold along with the first and second. You get the idea.

Of course if you bought the first book the first time around, the bookseller will give you a full discount and you could donate the already read book to a library.

I know this is not the burning issue of our time; that crime and unemployment will always be the more important problems to solve but when I don’t buy books it’s bad for the economy (and that just then exacerbates the unemployment and crime problems). So it’s a small solution to an even smaller problem but every little thing counts.

Just like a vote, right?

Road to Nowhere

Q and A with blogger, and now jogger, TracyL.

It is estimated that there are 120 million blogs on the internet today and that number keeps rising. With that many blogs and bloggers in the world it’s no surprise that most bloggers remain anonymous, unfamous and read by no one but their significant others. Meet TracyL who, although her real name is Tracy, is still pretty anonymous, still unfamous and can barely get her boyfriend (who goes by the blog name of He Man) to read her blog.

Today she’s agreed to answer our questions about her new possession and obsession, her treadmill. We join TracyL in her study, a somewhat stuffy and cluttered room in her house where she and He Man spend most of their free time. (He Man is in the dining room, enjoying an impromptu LAN party with his friends.)

Andrea (the imaginary reporter): Thank you TracyL for taking this time to talk with us. I understand that the treadmill was meant to be a secret, why do you wish to talk about it now?

TracyL: Not really a secret Anthea but it was meant to be nobody’s business but mine. A certain blabber mouth went and spilled his guts to his mom and now the whole of Krugersdorp and large parts of Pretoria know about it. But of course they only know half the story and I wanted to set the record straight.

Andrea: Um, it’s Andrea.

TracyL: Sorry?

Andrea: My name, it’s Andrea.

TracyL: Andrea, okay.

Andrea: Okay great. So tell us about the treadmill, when and where you got it.

TracyL: We went shopping for it last Sunday and got it delivered the same day. We got what we thought was a really nice deal at the Pink Place.

Anthea: The Pink Place?

TracyL: Well they’re actually called something else Althea and if they hadn’t gone and bettered the deal four days later by offering something bigger for the same price I might have mentioned them by name.

Andrea: Andrea

TracyL: Right.

A: Why a treadmill though? They’re a bit on the expensive side, take up more space. Why not an elliptical trainer or join a gym and get to use all sorts of equipment?

T: One of my goals for this year is to exercise. Gym is expensive and impractical for me and I’ve yet to encounter a sports bra that can cope with the bopping up and down on an elliptical when I’m at full tilt. I like walking, I walk pretty fast actually. My neighbourhood isn’t always so safe and the weather can be a factor so with a treadmill I can walk as much as I like anytime I like.

A: Still, a treadmill, not a pretty addition to your lounge décor. What happened to playing table tennis on the Move?

T: That is still part of the plan but its’ not quite the workout that I was hoping it would be.

A: And you want to work out because?

T: Mostly I just want to get fit and have more energy. Believe it or not in my twenties I was quite the gym bunny, working out nearly six times a week and it felt great. I want that feeling back.

A: So you’re not exercising to lose weight?

T: I anticipate some weight loss hopefully but it isn’t my primary motivation.

A: So what is motivating you?

T: Short answer. Simon Baker.

A: And the long answer?

T: The JP Morgan Corporate Challenge. I actually signed up for it after the treadmill arrived but the timing was so great and it gives me something work towards. I’ve put myself down for finishing 5.6 km in 60 minutes. The event takes place at the beginning of March so I’ve got a good few weeks to train.

T: Also, skinny vegetarians.

A: Skinny vegetarians?

T: Ja, the kind that thinks they know everything about nutrition, fitness and health because they are skinny. And vegetarian.

A: Tell me more about this skinny vegetarian.

T: Um, is this going to be published on the internet?

A: Yes.

T: Then I don’t personally know any skinny vegetarians.

T: I don’t work with any either.

T: Next question Athena.

A: Andrea, remember? Anyway, do you want to be a skinny vegetarian?

T: No. Because first of all I am never giving up bacon, even if the bacon on my lunchtime pizza did taste a bit funny. And I’ve actually been skinny once and it was not a good look for me, made me look ten years older than I am.

A: Okay. So what comes after the JP Morgan, the Comrades?

T: No. Possibly I’ll look around for another 5 km race or maybe even a 10 km if I’m feeling really fit by then but that is as far as my running ambitions go. The closest I’m going to get to participating in the comrades is watching the race from start to finish from the comfort of my couch.

A: Well TracyL we wish you all the best. Thank you for taking the time to talk with us.

T: You are welcome Shelly, it was great talking with you.


T: You sure? Because you look like a Shelly.

A: Dammit! It’s Anthea, A N T H E A, Anthea.

T: I thought you said it was Andrea. You should call your mom and check with her, I’m sure she’ll know.

Shelly Andrea is an imaginary person who is happy to ask the questions you think you have the clever answers to. She lives inside TracyL’s head.

Done. Mostly

So, work tomorrow.

I am sort of, kind of looking forward to it in that maybe we will revert to some kind of routine around here which will include things like regular showers, reasonable bedtimes and re-instated communications. Because we are the couple that can spend the entire day together in the same room and the only conversations we have are along the lines of “how is your game going” when there has been silence for more than five hours and “would you like something to eat” because it’s been ten hours since our last conversation.

In preparation for tomorrow I have already set the alarm. I have also picked out my outfit for tomorrow and tried it on to make sure it still fits. Yes, Christmas was that delicious.

I’ve been slacking on the exercise front but in order to make up for it, a la the Maggie Method, I have done an hour and a half of PS3 Move Table Tennis (it counts in my book). I have also cleared out my browser cache. This was necessary because I have been making use of the work laptop for surfing and I don’t want IT finding out about the questionable sites I read and making suggestions to management. I have also removed all photos and draft blog posts that were saved to the hard drive of aforementioned laptop because I don’t want to get fired.

I have made sure my car battery is charged so that tomorrow morning the car will start first time. Yes it has been that long since I drove my car.

I have done a load of washing and tidied the kitchen and then spent some time in my garden enjoying the sunshine.

I am ready for tomorrow.

Oh, and when I say “I have” I really mean “I still have to”.